Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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