Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
