guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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