Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize