your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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