every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize