you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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