You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
