Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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