Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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