Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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