I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
