drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize