Will you blow on my dice?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
