that's an acceptable place to lick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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