He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize