Operation Purity has been aborted
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
