i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
