In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
