i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Found your dick twin last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
