Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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