it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
