I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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