it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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