i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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