who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
