My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
