Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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