sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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