the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
