so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
