The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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