it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
