Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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