He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
