thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
