nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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