David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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