I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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