Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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