Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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