Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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