Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
