I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
