I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
