Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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