Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
smell my finger.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
