I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
