I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
