Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize