I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
two words...techno handjob
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
