Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
