So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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