is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
