Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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