it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
