Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
