And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
