And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
time to smoke my breakfast
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize