I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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