whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
