new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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