he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
