He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
