i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
