i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So much rum. So many feels.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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