His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
