Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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