I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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