Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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