Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You can't special order awesome
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
