Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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